no-one screws with Paco's girl. But I did

Can you tell i'm bored yet?

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:37:15 GMT

Off to See Pussycat Dolls in November and i thought i would honour that by placing a few pics of my favourite girls in the group

Kimberley and Jessica

Yet they have no individual photos that i an sodding well find, except for this one of Jessica below. Very nice though. I think she has a lovely figure and looks great in anything. I really like it when she wears jeans, they look amazing on her.

I have found some nice photos at the PCD Lounge in Las Vegas with Eva Longoria too.Put you tongue back in Kate.

We have front block seats, not front row, but front block, so i am very happy with that.I'm going with my best friend Jess, my friend Kate and my boyfriend Matthew. Rhianna is supporting. Not TOO fussed about her but should be fun anyway. I hope she proves my "she whines not sings", theory wrong.

Which My So Called Life Character are you?

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:09:04 GMT

Which My So-Called Life Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

So Called Angels

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 09:01:34 GMT

I love this episode from My So Called life. I would say that it is pretty much one of my favorites.The beginning is so moving as it starts with Rickie out in the cold and all beaten up and we know he has nowhere to go. The Christmas music in the background only makes him seem more lonely.

Juliana Hatfield guest stars in this episode as the homeless girl who tells Angela that she is looking out for Rickie and that he is fine. She is singing "Make it Home", which is a beautiful song.

Jordan shows a side of himself we are unaware of too, he see's Rickie out in the street and takes him to an abandoned warehouse he knows where Angela then finds him.

The thing that makes this episode so sad is when Angela's parents take Rickie in to their home for a while and are having a conversation about how great he is but he over hears the wrong parts of the conversation where they say he cannot stay there forever. I feel the emotion he must have felt when he heard this, that real sense of loneliness and not belonging anywhere, the felling that no matter where you go you are unwelcome. This makes Rickie leave the Chase's and tells them he has sorted things with his family, when in fact he has'nt. He still has nowhere to go.

I wont go in to too much detail of this episode but it's a great and sad episode and i feel it gets ruined at the end by the fact that Juliana has wings. I think an Angel is how you see them. An angel can just be a being , the episode should have been left to the imagination of each individual and not stereotyped.It brings an unrealistic tone to such a realistic storyline. The fact that she was an angel gives us belief but the fact that she has wings makes it all ridiculous.

Other than that the episode would have been flawless.

I will still always love Brian, no matter how geeky he is.

Rickie and Brian, best characters, ooh and Sharon too.

I find that i can sort of relate to almost every character on this show. Especially watching it again now, i can even relate to the characters i disliked back when i was young like Angela's Mum eeek.

There is a bit of me in all of them though.

Angela thinks too much like i do and about weird things.
Brian is kind of singled out like i was at school and he is kind and cares about people like i do and gets obbsessesed like i do.
Being the younger sister i relate to danielle as i always got stick from my sister.
Rickie's heart and fear for his friends and future, i hold a bit of his humour too.
Jordan - i am a bit slow in the academic department like he is and not very confident to answer questions at school when asked.
Patty Chase- her parenting and worries are just like mine would probably be. I'm starting to understand why she acts the way she does sometimes, though i'm not half as bad.

I think everyone in the world has something in common, it's weather it's enough in common to build a friendship or relationship but if you try hard there is always something to talk about or your just a shell.

Two by Two

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 12:10:32 GMT

She moves with such elegance and grace
Her smile is the world and when she laughs she has the key to a whole new universe
With the weight of the world on her shoulders
She swifts freely through the air as if nothing was holding her down
She must be strong for them, but inside she is frightened
she fears that the world will just be a whisper and nothing more than that
The cries of her people have become a language
They only understand pain and suffering as have been stolen from a world of hope and laughter.
She has no choice but to be brave and face the demons that destroy this earth and the worlds around it.
No one knows she cries at night
She stands on what seems like the edge of the world and has thoughts of landing below to a halt
She has the secret but its lost inside a cloud
She knows they fear her, even her own brother
She will destroy the demons who hurt this plane and her lost mind will be nothing but a memory
She tries
But it hurts to remember

Serenity - Mal the fighter for Whats's right.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 09:26:38 GMT

Ok, so i'm sure Ray must be a fan of Firefly and Serenity as his lyrics fit so well into the story, although it may just be because i am a sad loser who is obsessed with Firefly and Serenity. The lyrics to Ray's song How Come remind me of the Film Serenity, which takes place 6 months after the end of Firefly.

River Tam is a government experiment and has been rescued by her brother Simon Tam. He rescued her from a government hospital where they were running tests on her to make her an assassin. The numerous tests on her brain resorted her to a mental state where secrets of the government were buried way into her memory. These secrets are so terrible that there must be no risk of them ever getting out.

Due to this an Operative of the government is sent out to track down River and he will stop at nothing to get her as he truly believes in the cause even though he is unaware of the secrets buried in River's mind.

Mal (The Captain of Serenity) is a Browncoat. The Browncoats fought for independence against the Alliance but lost this war. Even years after the war Mal still has the same beliefs and despises the alliance. As a petty Thief for survival for himself and his crew he is always on the run and in hiding from the alliance and having a passenger such as River does not make it easy but he has not the heart to abandon her despite how he likes to come across.

Mal see's the universe as falling apart as the central planets are run by the Alliance. The universe is hungry, tired and underpaid and run by too many Criminal minds. The people who are said to be free aren't as they starve and fear the space demons called Reaver's. Reaver's skin you alive and rape you then kill you. The universe fears these as well as the Alliance. It's hard to tell who and what is good and what the difference is between being free and being rich and powerfull.

The line in this song "Justice can be a thief" describes the serenity Crew. They deserve justice for the war and for River but they are thief's too but good people.

If you are a fan or Serenity and firefly, i hope you see the same similarities that i do in this song and Firefly/Serenity.

How Come

People on the street now
Faces long and grim
Souls are feeling heavy
And faith is growing thin
Fears are getting stronger
You can Feel them on the rise
Hopelessness got some by the throat you can see it in their eyes
I said how come
How come
Everybody on a shoestring
Everybody in a hole
Everybody crossing their fingers and toes
Government man spin his politics till he got you pinned
Everybody trying to reach out to each other
But they don't know where to begin
I said how come
I can't tell
the free world
from living hell
I said how come
How come
all I see
is a child of god
in misery
I said how come the pistol now as profit
The bullet some kind of lord and king
But pain is the only promise that this so called savior is going to bring
Love can be a liar
And justice can be a thief
And freedom can be an empty cup from which everybody want to drink
I said how come
I can't tell
the free world
from living hell
I said how come
How come
all i see
is a child of god
in misery
I said how come
Its just man killing man
Killing man
Killing man
Killing man
Killing man
I don't understand
Its just man killing man

The Story Of Mal & Inara

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 09:05:01 GMT

I first listened to Ray Lamontagne about a year ago and i went to see him Last November at Warwick Arts Centre. (which was amazing but not the point to this post). When i first listened to the song "Forever My Friend" (see below) it made me think of these two Characters in Firefly called Mal and Inara.

Their relationship is complicated as they are both in love with each other but too proud and scared to ever admit their feelings for one another.

Mal is the captain of this ship in which Inara rents a shuttle from. Inara is a companion (legal prostitute, high class of course)which more than stands in the way of their relationship. Mal has no respect for Inara as the companion, but respects her as Inara the woman, the woman that he would die for and work hard to keep in his life.

The lyrics to this song i see from Mal's point of view on how he feels about Inara but not letting off too much of his feelings. It shows how he knows he is wrong telling her she is a whore and that he regrets showing a lack of respect for her chosen occupation.It proves how he thinks he can face everything alone and he doesn't need her in his life which he realises is untrue. It shows how he trusts her and knows if they trust each other and stay together on board and in each others life, things may develop and last a lifetime.............

Forever My Friend

Who am I to tell her
Who am I to play god
Who am I to think I can go it alone
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down
Something tells me this is bringing me down
We've been through some changes
Always seem to hold on
Lately it feel like you can't take anymore
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down
Forever my friend
Forever my love
Forever the woman that I'm thinking of
I just think if we keep our hearts together
Just think if we build on this trust that we have for one another
Baby we can make this last a lifetime
Who am I to tell her
Who am I to play god
I don't know just what's for real anymore
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down
Something tells me girl this is bringing you down
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right
Maybe it's the last thing you want to hear me say
I just think if we keep out hearts together
I just think if we build on this trust that we have for one another
Maybe we can make this last a lifetime
Forever my friend
Forever my love
Forever the woman
That I'm thinking of
I just think if we keep our hearts together
I just think if we will build on this trust that we have for one another
Maybe we can make this last a lifetime

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 08:43:08 GMT

Half nine ish and i am bored at work already. Typical. I kepp staring at the same guy, purely because i can't find my glassess and i am as blind as a bat and have no idea who i am staring at till it's too late so of course he always says hello to me now and i get all shy and whisper a hello. You must understand that there is no attraction on my part i am just so embarressed that i get all shy. Either that or he thinks i'm rude. Oh well.

So anyway, i went to see THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA with Kate last night and it was an ok film.

Tonight i am going to the Health Spa with Laura and we are going to relax and i am going to be an ear for her as i feel she has a wee bit of difficulty at work at the moment. I hope she's ok.

Miss Tweedy/Cole

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:44:54 GMT

Miss Dushku

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:37:28 GMT

Miss Danes

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:22:28 GMT

Miss Shahi

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 14:12:32 GMT

I'm so bored , i'm going to post pictures of stars i like

Make it Home

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 11:55:50 GMT

Deepening night, think on a time
All was bright
Here in this dark place, I see in your face
All is not right

Make it, make your way home
Better than the last
Break it, break the alone
Take a second chance

Open a window, let in the snow
Cold is all I know
Go to the fire, stir it around
There's a warmer place for you to go

So, make it, make your way home
Better than you have
Break it, break the alone
Leave it in the past

Oh, look and you'll find it
Someone wants to love you
Look and you'll find it
Someone wants to love you

Wake it, wake your dream
One forgotten me
Sleepin' deep inside o' you
Heavenly peace

Rayanne, Ricky, and all my so called life guys

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 10:31:31 GMT

so i started to hang out with Rayanne Graff.....

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 10:02:33 GMT

I have been watching my My-So Called Life Dvd in the last week which has inspired me to write today. I have enclosed a few quotes from the show below as well as my own written poetry.

This used to be my favourite programme when i was younger. It meant so much to me and broke my heart when it finished. I could escape into this show as i could relate to almost ever character. Even now, though i feel some relation towards the parents now too, but also the youngest daughter as i was a youngest daughter, am a youngest daughter.

This programme captures your heart and makes your mind wonder.

I miss Angela, i miss her stupidity, her embarrasing ways and her thoughts. I yearn for more.

I miss Ricky as he was and is my favourite charcter and probably favourite in television. I wanted to see his charcter develop as he had so much in his life and i wanted to know which path he would take.

Does Angela end up with Jordan or as the years go by does she devlop feelings for Brian as i have this whole vision of when he cuts his hair he will look good. (he did in L Word). When Brain finally matures i think she could find happiness with him.

What becomes of the friendship between Rayanne and Angela? Does it get recreated? Does it just end?

Sharon, i can't forget Sharon as i love this charcter. She was so beautiful and so wonderful that i found her charcter the most likeable. I would like to see how she progresses.

"There are so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people who you've known forever who know you in this way that other people can't because they've seen you change. They've let you change"

This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instruction

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:47:38 GMT

Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison, and the crime is how much we all hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth -- that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually beautiful. Possibly even me."

Reflection

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:43:09 GMT

I watch the girl in the window looking back at me. Her eyes tell a story of sorrow and despair. I feel her cry for help and my hand reaches out to her as she reaches out for mine.
Our hands try to touch but the glass seperates the realness of it. She looks so lost, so afraid and so tired.

The more i look at her the more she changes. She can look so angelic and then she can be so demonic, i wonder how she does that.

Her body looks so slender i feel confident for a while. She looks at herself intently as i watch her.She tells me that she hasn't always looked like this and that there was a time when she was happy but she can't remember the moment.The confidence dissapears and she cries at the shape which has morphed into a larger being. I feel her anger and pain, the need to change.

she looks at me again, this time we stare at each other, we share the same anger and blame at each other, if we could touch each other we may show this.

I walk away, as does she. We look back at each other for a moment, her eyes are piercing with so much fear and i know she had a good soul, but it's lost forever as hate has taken over the both us and we will never be friends.

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:32:13 GMT

In the distance i see you, your so close by i can almost feel your breath on my neck.You don't see me, your too far away.

I feel like a child, trapped in a prison of my own making. I lay awake at night and watch the moon gradually go to sleep. The wind howls like a woman crying for her lost child. I cry but there are no tears. The world has gone to sleep but i am awake as the world is mine and mine alone. I can see peace from my window, the only time in the world, though i can also see fear as i fear the morning ahead of me.The house creaks though no one is moving, i stiffen. My body becomes tired but i'm afraid to sleep for the bad people visit me in my dreams. They take away my soul and create a being that's painfull to see. I try to stay awake but the fight is on their side. I try to stay awake but their getting stronger. I feel them pulling me like i am underwater and i can no longer breathe. I try to stay awake but i drown in my fears and i have gone for the night.

I awake, i am free for this time until i step outside the prison.

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 09:13:48 GMT

"Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely little cottage made of gingerbread and candy. She was always asleep. One morning she woke up and the candy had mold on it. Her father blew her a kiss and the house fell down. She realized she was lost.She found herself walking down a crowded street, but the people were made of paper, like paper dolls. She blew everyone a kiss good-bye and watched as they blew away."

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 13:16:26 GMT

So damn bored at work but happy enough. Chatting to my dear ol pal Kate. Just chatting and having a good ol giggle. I'm off to Chipping Norton again tonught which should be fun. In two weeks we are going to see Kate Rusby at Warwick Arts Cebtre. Little did i know that she would be in our home town the night after ha ha. Oh well, these things happen don't they?

I hope i get to meet her like i did with Imogen Heap. I love getting CD's Signed. I am so happy with the Frou Frou signed cd and my Imogen Heap Vinyl.

I intend to have a row of signed recordss/cd covers. So far from memory i have the following.

Jason Mraz - Mr A-Z Cd cover signed and Geek in the Pink Vinyl signed.

Ray Lamontagne - Trouble Cd signed

Imogen heap- Frou Frou Cd- Hide and Seek Vinyl.

Funeral For a friend Ep's and album signed

Farse- Cd Signed

Common Rotaion - Cds Signed

Dan Donnely - Cd Signed

I'm sure there is more but i can't sdodding remember.

Imogen Heap

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 09:03:05 GMT

I went to see Imogen Heap on Tuesday night and it was amazing. The bad thing is i had a sodding cold so i snezzed throughout it but in time with the music. She was amazing and did "let go" from her previous band "Frou Frou". The set was beautiful and had a see through piano and lots of pretty lights and a tree with pretty lights. After the gig we met her and she signed my 7" vinyl of Hide & Seek and showed me that there was a message she scratched into it which i had never noticed before.

My L Word ticket arrived yesterday which was not in the meet and greet so i was a bit upset but alas Matthews ticket is in the meet and greet so i get to go in aftear all. Yay.

At work and the room just started spinning. Something tells me i'm not well yet. Oh dear.

Turned my world to black

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 11:27:47 GMT

I'm still excited from August when i saw Pearl Jam At Reading. These have been my favourite band since i was 11 yrs old ish and i had never seen them live till now.They were amazing. They played so many songs that made my spine all tingly but they didn't play Black which upset a bit. The last song they played on the secon encore was Yellow Ledbetter. This just made me wanna cry. I didn't, thankfully but i felt like it. We were very close to the front and i lost my sodding glasses and had to replace them last week, which was a pain in the butt but hey ho.

Eddive Veddar looked the same age as he was back when and Mike Mcready and Stone Gossard looked completeley different and so cute. I think i prefer them with short hair. Jeff Ament pretty much looked the same but better thani remember.

Seeing Pearl Jam was one of my "things to do before i die" or see before i die as not gonna do them ha ha. So atleast thats one thing to tick of the list. I plan on doing others things on said list so i will update when and where i do them. I have one lined up for next year so we shall see how it goes.

Here is the set list for Readings Gig:

Set 1
Interstellar Overdrive, Corduroy, Do The Evolution, Animal, World Wide Suicide, Severed Hand, Dissident, Even Flow, Sad, I Am Mine, Jeremy, Grievance, Wasted Reprise, Better Man, Save You, Blood, Rearviewmirror

Encore 1

Soon Forget, Given To Fly, Once, Crown Of Thorns, Comatose, Alive

Encore 2

Why Go, Baba O'Riley, Yellow Ledbetter

I'm sure that's not 100 % correct but i did get this off their site, not from memory. I'm not that good.

Bla Bla Bla

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 09:23:29 GMT

Today, i am sneezing constantly, gutting. Hate being at work when i am ill. Was sooooo comfy in my bed this morning that i did not want to leave , ever.

Tonight myself and My boyfriend are going to see Imogen Heap and im excited about that.I hope we have good seats, not sure yet. Didn't look.

I have sooo many things to look forward to this year.

I have tix to see Kate Rusby, Russell Brand, Snow Patrol, Pussycat Dolls, Nerina Pallot.

We are seeing shows too. Cats and Starlight Express. I havent seen these for years so i am very excited about seeing them again. Its not in London, so won't be the same experience as when i was a child but i'm sure it will be just as pleasant.

Over the weekend i went to Collectormania and saw:

Mark Lutz - The Groosolog in Angel
Sam Anderson- Holland Manners in Angel and BErnard in Lost.

Juliet Landau - Drusilla in Buffy/Angel

Ernie Hudson - Winston in Ghost Busters.
I saw Maggie Grace (Shannon in Lost) in the loo's and we exchanged Hello's but that was about it.

Had a really good time.

I then went with my Boyfriend to Chipping Norton as his family had rented a house for a week and we went to stay with them for one night. It was lovely and relaxing and we had a nice meal that night too.

On sunday went to health Suite with Laura in our Gym which was relaxing and then went on her boat for some wine. Had a giggle and caught up on each others gossip which was nice.I told her about all the crap that has happened in the last few months and told her about my past so she could understand why i am so pissed off with this girl thats caused a lot of shit in the past.I had this friend who i thought the world of and it's turned out that she is a very nasty person and incredibly selfish. Not to mention a compulsive liar. Everything about this girl is all lies our entire friendship was a lie and i wasted a year and a half being her friend.

The thing is this girl is so so so spoilt. She ripped her boyfriend off for a fair while leaving him under the impression that she was skint, where in fact i don't think she has paid for a single thing in her life and she wanted to keep it that way. At 27 years of age and she gets Mummy and Daddy to pay for her holidays, spending money and everything else. No wonder this girl is a selfish bitch and has no morals whatsoever. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be independant and have what i want when i want, i would hate to think of the kind of person i would be. It certainly explains why this girl has no real friends.

I myself take pride in the fact that i have good good friends. With this girl gone my life is so much better. I have hardly ANY Paranoi, anger or self esteem issues anymore as she was the one who inflicted them on me.

All my friends are different and are good friends.I know how lucky i am. On Sunday Laura told me how she was unhappy with her life and when she started at the Resource Centre (where we met) she went home happy and cheerie every night and that it was down to me. This was so wonderfull to hear. It's so nice to have a warming impact on a persons life and that your friends truly appreciate you.

Kate at the weekend during a giggly moment said to me that she loves hanging around me as she can act like a tit and not care. I would say one of the best things about me is that i have the ability to allow people to be themselves around me as i dont judge a person unless they do something very out of order, which is understandable.

Tiffany, always makes me feel good. I can go round her house at any time and just chill. She has four sisters on whom i get on with very well and we always have a giggle. Even if Tiff isn't there , i will hang around with her sisters and do very silly things like dance and sing and just act stupid.They are like my second family. I stayed with them for two weeks once when i was ill and it was a great time.Despite the fact that it was cramped. They live in a bungalow with one bathroom yet they still put me up.

Jess- Jess is probably the cutest person i know. Shes my little honey who is a crazy dancer, driver bla bla bla. She makes me laugh and just makes me happy when i'm around her. She is coming to see PCD with us and i know we are going to have such a good time. I know she's a bit down at the moment and i wish that she could find someone who loves her for eternity as it's what she deserves.

Daniel- Daniel and i were very close, then moved in together and had our differences then he moved out and we are good friends again and i actually kinda miss living with him. He is the kinda guy i can say anything to. He listens to my typical woman issues and will have a laugh about anything and will just act plain silly. Bless him.

These are my best friends. I see these as the inspiration in my life and i know i inspire theirs. It's nice to have got rid of all the bad apples in my circle of friends and kept the good ones. There should be no room in your life for people who drag you down.

The L Event

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 15:38:24 GMT

I cannot wait for the L Event in November, its going to be so good. Looking forward to having fun with my friend Kate and meeting up with Del again, who was such a laugh at the Serenity event.

I have so much for Mia to sign such as:

Crow City of Angels soundtrack
New Best Friend DvD or Poster
24 10x8
L word 10x8
L word cast shot
L word Book
L word pic with Eric
Black Dahlia Poster
L Word Poster
L Word Dvd

and i'm sure something else ha ha.

Kate , i'm getting

L Word Poster
L Word Book
L Word Cast Shot
L word 10x8
L Word Dvd

Laurel

L Word Dvd
L Word Poster

Rachel (if there)

L Word Dvd
L Word Poster

Leisha (if there)

L Word 10x8
L Word Poster
L Word Dvd
L Word cast shot

And with phots and all i can pretty much say that i am going to be poor poor poor, but alas it will ALL be worth it.